Daddy’s Little Girl

                                                                 Dear World,

In education, I always tried to excel, and with sports the same thing too.  I consistently pushed myself to the next level of achievement in whichever endeavor I pursued. 

For such a long time I walked around with my true identity masked.  When you looked at me, you would see a girl who knew what she wanted out of life.

 — In actuality, I really had no clue.

 All I knew was that I wanted to succeed and make lots of money. But, there was something deeper there, something the human eye was unable to detect.

I was hurting.  I felt abandoned.  I had a huge void that needed to be filled. So, as a result, I would push myself above and beyond just to make others see that I could do anything—I was truly insecure.

 My success wasn’t for me, but was for other people to see that I was strong, determined, and wasn’t a frilly little girl who couldn’t do anything.   –Truthfully, my success was for my Dad.

Your Dad, but why?  Well, because he and my mother did not work out, so they divorced, and we all know what divorce means…

As a young child, you don’t quite understand that Daddy leaving has nothing to do with you.  The only thing you believe is that he left and took with him his love

But, that wasn’t the case at all; my Daddy is really extremely quiet and not much of a talker.  He loved me tremendously, but just didn’t know how to express those feelings outwardly.  As a young girl (and even us older women), I needed that reinforcement. I needed his words to water my confidence, so that I could grow into an assertive young woman, not needing the approval of just any young man who came strolling along.  

I had to find a way to make him love me, no matter what it took!  So, my plan? I would achieve as much as I could so that he could say, “that’s my girl—I’m so proud of her!”  Or possibly brag about me to his co-workers and/or other family members; I had to show him that I was somebody, and him leaving me was a big mistake. 

In the end, as a young adult, I learned many valuable lessons.  But, most importantly, the lesson that will stick with me a lifetime, is never base true happiness off of  accomplishments and success!  Be happy and love yourself first, that will take you a long way. 

Love,

xoxoxoxoxo Daddy’s Little Girl xoxoxoxo

P.S. Oh and yeh, for those who maybe interested in my relationship with my Father now…well, naturally, we are still working on it.  It has some ups and downs, but we are progressing immensely, and I’m realizing he’s truly a great guy! Be blessed :o)

glakia
 

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 13 comments
Vito Parrain - January 19, 2010

All your blogs are very well written and articulate. But, this one hit home the most for me thus far. Although I am an extremely driven and ambitious person, and consider myself mildly successful, I can relate to this. Sometimes “you” (people in general, including myself) go above and beyond to succeed just to show people that you can do anything and to feel loved. Keep up the good work and just know that there always were and still are a lot of people proud of you.

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aliciadudek - January 24, 2010

What you have written here really resonated with me. Thank You.

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eve dabney - January 25, 2010

I can relate. It is so hard to enjoy the success you have without true love for yourself.Understanding God’s purpose for your life is the true success and then you can share this with others. Its like a tree that brings forth good fruit …. Love you Kia and keep up the good work that God has began in you.

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    Lakia - January 25, 2010

    Thank you very much! I wrote this in hopes of people taking a look at themselves to see why they really desire to be “successful.”

    Thanks for your insight!

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Quinetta Beard - January 26, 2010

Wow Kia, this blog is awesome, girl have you been reading my old journals? This blog immediately took me back to my high school and after high school years. I too made lots of mistakes that were based on the decision my mom and dad made by divorcing. What I thought I lost out on by daddy leaving, I looked for in the guys I dated and even the ones I didn’t date but was just involved with. Girl, this is some good stuff, keep it up, we need this, I love it. I am excited, I am excited, I am excited………

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    Lakia - January 26, 2010

    Thanks! I am excited too!!! I’m just trying to stay focused and keep them coming 🙂 I’m so glad that you were able to take something away from the post!!!

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sylwilson - January 26, 2010

Awesome post on your relationship with your father, I am going to forward this on to some friends who will be needing to hear these words, I am looking forward to seeing more like this!

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    Lakia - January 26, 2010

    Thank you so much, I really appreciate that! Trying to spread positive messages of hope and inspiration…

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christineattard - January 27, 2010

touching story, and well written!

thanks for your kind words 🙂

xx Christine

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Dabir Dalton - February 20, 2010

Your father is one of the lucky ones as so many men these days are unwillingly forced out of the lives of their children; through divorce and the family court system whose members think of fathers only as walking wallets to be exploited.

I myself had two stepmothers who did everything in their power to destroy my relationship with my father by making it as difficult as possible to have anything to do with him even after my son was born.

I’m glad that they didn’t succeed!

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