Daddy’s Little Girl
For such a long time I walked around with my true identity masked. When you looked at me, you would see a girl who knew what she wanted out of life.
— In actuality, I really had no clue.
All I knew was that I wanted to succeed and make lots of money. But, there was something deeper there, something the human eye was unable to detect.
I was hurting. I felt abandoned. I had a huge void that needed to be filled. So, as a result, I would push myself above and beyond just to make others see that I could do anything—I was truly insecure.
My success wasn’t for me, but was for other people to see that I was strong, determined, and wasn’t a frilly little girl who couldn’t do anything. –Truthfully, my success was for my Dad.
Your Dad, but why? Well, because he and my mother did not work out, so they divorced, and we all know what divorce means…
As a young child, you don’t quite understand that Daddy leaving has nothing to do with you. The only thing you believe is that he left and took with him his love.
But, that wasn’t the case at all; my Daddy is really extremely quiet and not much of a talker. He loved me tremendously, but just didn’t know how to express those feelings outwardly. As a young girl (and even us older women), I needed that reinforcement. I needed his words to water my confidence, so that I could grow into an assertive young woman, not needing the approval of just any young man who came strolling along.
I had to find a way to make him love me, no matter what it took! So, my plan? I would achieve as much as I could so that he could say, “that’s my girl—I’m so proud of her!” Or possibly brag about me to his co-workers and/or other family members; I had to show him that I was somebody, and him leaving me was a big mistake.
In the end, as a young adult, I learned many valuable lessons. But, most importantly, the lesson that will stick with me a lifetime, is never base true happiness off of accomplishments and success! Be happy and love yourself first, that will take you a long way.
xoxoxoxoxo Daddy’s Little Girl xoxoxoxo
P.S. Oh and yeh, for those who maybe interested in my relationship with my Father now…well, naturally, we are still working on it. It has some ups and downs, but we are progressing immensely, and I’m realizing he’s truly a great guy! Be blessed :o)